If it wasnt his word, maybe things would be better. Maybe my bestie and Nat wouldnt be so hateful to one another. Maybe I will not be worrying at much. Maybe our clique was laughing as much as we did in our first year, dorkiness in pictures, hanging out together. Maybe nothing could have changed.
Okay, he is a good brother but why are things like this now? Have they ever thought for the people around them? How they felt? How I feel now, disturbed, a little annoyed, fed up but want to help and see it being solved. The biggest problem is that I see how it can be solved but both of them cant *face palm*
Come on! You two are bro-sis, right? What is there to be stressed about? Everyone should never ever keep everything in, like how I did. It is not fun and it is not to anyone's advantage, not yours, not his. That is all. Talk things out, make sure the other party knows what the limit is. If you don't do anything like that, don't expected anything of your expectation from the other person.
I am not like telling the world how I feel but I just really had to let it out, pour out my feelings here.
So what happened to my clique? Well.. I don't know.. Maybe they also feel a change too? Who knows.
Someday, when I dare to, I will invite my clique to some session where we are talk things out, spill out our feelings so that we know more about each other.
That is not a bad idea, is it?
Well, you know, if you don't communicate well with your friends, how can you expect the 100% of it? Right? But I just hope everything will be back like what it used to be in the past. We will all be inviting each other to hang out and stuff like that. I actually had a must-do list with my clique but it was kinda useless because I never dared to ask. Now? Ask now? Too late already. With my parents' control and my timidness, I missed out my chance to pull myself closer to them.
I will take a chance to tell God something.
Dear God,
Are you fine up there? I bet you are. How is everything? People getting their karma in a rightful way? Can I just ask something? I want to know if when it is going to be over. I want my old friend back. She has changed so much for her 'bro'. I know, there is karma and stuff like that but I want her back, the real her. She used to be a girl who eats a plate of rice during rice, a cheerful girl. You know? But now, everything changed since the problem of he-is-such-a-dumbass started. She stop her eating habits, she kept falling sick or injure herself; mentally and physically.
And why did they become bro-sis? Don't you see what is happening, my friends fall out because he was her ex and she thinks he broke up with her for my friend. And why us? We all used to the world's best of the best of the best friends. We hanged out together, go crazy and spazzing around school. Why isn't it happening in this recent days? Or is May my unlucky month? I hope so. I hope that after May, everything will be fine. Can it be fine, God? I don't want it to be awkward again. Me and Nad had a short conversation. Though it was awkward but we are trying to keep it going and stuff like that. I don't know for her but that is what I think. I hope all the conversations I will have with my JJNN will be long and last as much as it will.
God, you may treat this as if I am begging you. I know life is unfair but I am willingly to let you remove 10 years of my life for me to have my clique united as one again. Please. I am willingly to have hard times but as long as I can get my clique back together again, anything I shall do for you.
Thank you, my Lord. I hope you can see me typing this and see my sincerity. I know at times, I have been bad but just this times, please. Let it stop. Let it be peaceful. And our lives will be more joyful and happier.
Yours sincerely
Sandy Mui Ya JIng
God's a great guy. He is fair.Good karma for the good, bad karma for the bad. I want to thank him. Thank you, God. I hope all sins done by our people will be forgiven and seen as nothing because, God, they are innocent and they have no idea what they are doing.
May the Lord be with all of us, God bless us, Jesus love us; wherever and whenever.
Okthxbye
