From the start, a few months ago, I had a bad feeling that things will go wrong. It was not what I hoped, it was just a feeling. Now, after seeing overall, the feeling proved it; you are weaker in health, your emotions run on a bumpy hill, things were not like how I hoped it would be, you were not like who you were in the past; they changed you indirectly. At first, to you, SGA was a great and fun brother to have. Now, you seemed to be unhappy. I heard all of the stories, as a bestie, of course I understand. I understand a lot. I even know how you feel. From your view, he is not doing his job, his life just need HoN, he does not care, he is blind enough not to see what is happening to you. For MHC, from your view, it was the opposite. From a you-thought-was-pervy&useless guy, he turn out to be more caring and careless about gossips, he sees you as the number one. When you fell, he checks on you and made sure you were okay. When you were hungry but insisted on not eating, he chose to fork out money to buy something for you to eat and make sure you do so. He turned out to be sensible, warming, loving and proving himself as your brother. I know, SGA is such a jerk. But stop and think, what is he feeling now? Is he really what you think he is? What if you mistaken everything for all this time?
Okay. Forget about the questions. Let's talk about your brothers from what I am viewing. MHC, I do agree. He has changed a lot. He more reponsible now. He is not a 'sissy', though he sings like one he is more courageous than we thought. MHC has all of it; the warmth of the love that a brother and sister should have, the caring you want to feel, the things you expected. From my view, it was normal because I am too big sized to have a brother I personally think that was what a brother should do. SGA, from my view, okay, he acted for a jerk for a period of time. But he wants to care. He wants to give what the expectations are. He wants to the number one. He always has been trying to be good. He wants to bring in some sprinkles of happiness into your used-to-be-gloomy days by making you laugh. Knowing that it may not work ALL the time, he always want to try. Though I find him irritating when he finds me to ask about you, it shows me how he wants to give you what you want. He just dont know what to do. He shows me that he wants to care but not sure how to show. Questions he ask also show me one important thing, how much he wants the brother and sister relationship to go on smoothly. It proves a lot in the past. Now, from what he texts you and what his reponses are, he has tiredness growing in him. He is tired of fufilling, tired of facing everything everyday, tired of not knowing what to do. I know you may be thinking, it was damn obvious! I showed everything, i showed a lot!
I know. But no one said he got the body language, right? Everyone is different, some are fast, some are slow, some just do not get it. MHC is MHC, SGA is SGA. That is that. They care for you from what they have exprienced, what they know and they feel. My friend, I know you may read this. I hope you are not angry or upset. I am not taking sides, you or SGA. I just cannot bear to watch how things are going now. I wanna see a truly happy friend again. I wanna friend who always anticipate the food she is going to have during to have. I wanna see my friend be who she was back then. I hope you understand. I hope after reading this, it brings you to a second thinking. I want the good for you. Because.. I am tired, I cant help a lot but just watch the situation flow up and down, up and down. But I am not washing my hands like how my mum wants me to do. I want to be a bestfriend. I want to care. I want to help. That is all I want to say. If you are still going to think negatively, do negative things to yourself, have negative emotions at school, I really dont know what to do. I have done the best I can.
I hope you would think more before you move your next move but in what ever you do or say, just like God above you, I will always be there for you, always.
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| "Whatever happens, do not betray God. Do not blame him for anything that happens; REJOICE" --Janice from Jayesslee |
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| There are times we cannot change a lot of things surrounding us. But we can change what’s inside us. Having faith to our God, that He knows exactly what He’s doing surely makes a difference…every time. |
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| God gave us another day because as days go by, it brings us closer to the value He wants us to learn |
Okthxbye
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