I seriously can't get over it

I actually didn't want to blog about this epic dream but I seriously can't get over it. It has been in my head for a week already. Plus, my eoy exams are here. I will die if I don't get it out of my head.
It was a third person's POV.
Bare it with me guys.

Okay. If I was not wrong, it was Changi airport, Terminal three. Packed like a sardine can- Okay. Not that bad. There was a wide path for people to walk through. There was like this big crowd with signboards. I saw myself in the crowd. I don't know why I was squeezing through the front row when I was already at the front and I hate squeezing. From the third person POV, I saw like fanboards. SuperJunior- To be specific, Donghae fan boards.
I heard screamings which obviously shows that the idol is on his/her way in. I saw Donghae. Shades. Awesome airport fashion. But I was not looking at Donghae. In the crowds, I was approaching something else. I saw a knife. Omgomgomg dafuq is there a knife.
This knife raised high in the air, wanting to stab towards the path which Donghae was in. But it jerked, like something stopped it. the person who stopped this siaosiao person was me. Why did I. Was I dumb or something. 
I saw myself holding the wrist that was holding the knife. The person shaked me off and cut me on the arm. From the side of my wrist to the elbow. Oww. I still gei kang stop that person. Donghae stopped walking. Oi, run lah! You in danger lah mister! He stared at our situation which I wished which was not situation but I know it was. I was like struggling with this asshole stabber. I was holding the knife blade. Why was I stupid. Obviously, my left palm was bleeding. This person was quite strong from my POV?
"Run, Donghae, ruuuun!" I screamed. But he still stand there you know! The worse part was he came closer. The person who I was struggling was wanting to stab him lor. My left palm lost grip and the knife want attack Donghae.
Donghae still stand there sia.
And idk why or how I got the courage.
I stood in front of Donghae. The knife hit my right eye- You know the eye ball below that eye lid? yeah there. The cut was quite deep that was so stunned by it that I fell backwards. Anyway was the security blind of something. No one help me sia. My right palm covered my right eye, the blood flow like my blood supply will not run low. The blood covered my entire right cheek. Then I saw Donghae catch hold of me and palmed my right hand over my right eye. Omg i know I was hurt but he freggin TOUCHED MY HAND.
That was only when the security and policemen step into the scene.
I found myself in a doctor-ish-patient-resting-room-got-aircon room. The doctor was pasting something on my right eye. Okay, this is now my POV. Like finally.
I don't care about what the doctor said. Blahblahblah. Donghae was in the same room. Then the doctor left. Donghae approached me, "Why?"
I stared at him. What do you mean by 'why'?
"The doctor said you lost the ability to see through your right eye."
I see- BWOH??
My eyes widened (I guess it did?)
"Mianhae."
I just nodded. He turned back and took something which I have no idea what it was.
"Here, SMTown tickets." He had three. OMG!!!
He smiled like a kid. So sweet-


The alarm rang, I woke up.
Aish.
At least let me touch the ticket mah. Aish.
Okthxbye

Secrets of Truly Happy People; By Bubzbeauty

This worth to watch and listen

Another thing that inspires me, the meaningful and life-changing videos by Bubzbeauty. In fact, Bubzbeauty inspires people. The way she speaks, the things she do. It just really warms my heart. Though she may be across the world, in another country, I just feel so close to her. She is such a heart-warming lady. 

She changed people with her videos. She help others through the net. 

This video is the best I have ever watched from her. This is what keeps me happy.

There are some quotes I want to jot down.

Happiness is so simple. So simple that we miss it

'Few of us ever live in the present.

we are forever anticipating

what is coming or what has gone'

- Louis L'Armour

Happiness only can be now 

because it is the only time it truly exist

Tomorrow will always come but you'll

never get today again

Stop feeling sorry for yourself

Let go of the past and free yourself

'Worrying is like a rocking chair;

It takes up a lot of energy and 

it doesn't get you anywhere'

- Unknown

Even if you had a bad beginning, it doesn't mean

you cannot have a good finish

'The mind is a place of its own, and in itself

can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven'

- John Milton

Suffering comes from believing in your thoughts

We have two wolves that live within us.

One wolf is called Unhappiness

One wolf is called Happiness

These wolves are constantly battling

Who wins?

The one you feed.

Your purpose is more bigger and 

more simpler than you think

Inspiration drives you to go out there and persevere

Follow your bliss

and live in the moment

Some people pursue happiness

Others create it.

Kindness is a type of happiness that

everyone is capable of

The more your give, the more you receive

Don't see kindness as a chore

Think of it as an opportunity for you to grow

"The happiest people contribute to something

greater than themselves"

'It is pointless to punch into the darkness

All you got to do is to turn on the light'

- Joyce Meyer

Judgement comes from self-pride

it's destructive

When you are happy, nothing changes.

But suddenly, everything is different.

Like a boomerang, 

Happiness will come back to you!

The happiest people

don't have the best of everything.

They just make the best of 

everything they have.

------------------------------------

The videos says it all ^^ 

Thanks Bubz~~ 

Another person who inspires me. You are the one who drives me out there and make me persevere!

Okthxbye

Awesome weekend; Or not?

This weekend, I found out many things. There were good and bad.
I found out that the things I have overthinking about were all wrong.
I found out as long as you remain as yourself, everyone will love you.
I found out real friends sometimes can't give you an answer of a question about 'what if something bad happens' because a real friend will never want something bad to happen to you.
I found out that relationship, no matter boy and girl, friendship, it all needs time to tie it tighter.
I found out that no matter when or where, there is always that one person who will be there for you.
I found out that people grow up, not change.

Life is like a mirror, if you smile at it, it will smile too.
So why do others think life is a horrible thing? Why?
All I want to say is that life can be a good thing. No matter what the reality is.
I know this society is materialistic. You must have the looks, the education and the position to be out there. People like me, who have weird features, will be hardly accepted at the start. That is what makes us horrible. This is also why I want an eye opt.
Friends around may think, "What the heck is wrong with Sandy? Why does she always want to do an eye opt?"
My classmates, none of them have this problem. They probably not understand.
I know, we cannot make everyone love us. In an election, no one gets all the votes.
I just got tired.
Why?
Firstly, it was all because of me. It takes a long time to know me well. I only trust those who care kindly. I have a lot of secrets fyi. You can have them but get my trust first. It is just that some people just step into my life and think they know me that well. They think I will just spill all my thoughts and secrets for them.
The only ones were my girls. I trust them. Actually, my class girls. They all have my trust.
The reasons why I can;t always laugh and play with them is because of my second reason.
Secondly, restrictions. Because others think I am some good girl or mama's girl. They never invite me. Okay, they did. But I hardly could attend. I miss so many chances to know them. And now it is going to be the end of the year. What is the use of me putting effort now?
Sigh. I mean, at least if you invite me, tell me, I will feel that you care. Because of no one asking me, telling me, I over think. Honestly, I thought I was a transparent.. something. I thought no one cared. I thought..
That only rich, good looking and people who can get along with others easily were the ones who could be 'popular'. There was also a time when I pitied myself.
By then I found out, if I self pity, no one will love me. If I don't love myself, how can I expect others to love me.
On Monday, I will be a different me. I will not pity myself. I will love myself. Laugh more, smile more. Be the most positive. Be that one who wouldn't mind to give out free hugs. Be that one who has the biggest ears and the widest chest, to let others share their problems and have a shoulder to lay their head on.
So was the weekend awesome or not?

Okthxbye

Difference of adults and children

When I grow up and become a mature adult, I would think how stupid I am typing this post when I read back my blog. But no, I don't care. I just need to spill my own feelings.

It is not about my parents. 

It is the inner conflicts of my mother towards my neighbour and the body language of my neighbour.

Anyone remember Yeechen? The baby boy that I posted on mothers' day? It's their family.

They have a loving father who works hard to support his own family.

A mother who is a great one and brings her two children up at the same time, no matter how difficult it is.

A young daughter, Yee teng, who is sweet and a loving sister to Yeechen, who is another adorable one.

Let me explain what happened before it gets complicated.

Our families are close neighbours. We used to eat breakfast together. Things started to change when it was about a one-day class, it was not really a religious type of class. This accepts anyone of any race of religion to join. And it is more on character-development instead of a religious class. It only monthly, on a sunday. It is not like school, it is okay if you miss out one - three times.

Back to where we were, at the start of Yeeteng's journey to be a well-developed child with awesome character, we always have to bring her there and back home. Her mother has another child to look after, I understand that. I was supportive on Yeeteng to attend this class. But soon, my mother gave up. My mother said that she wanted Yeeteng's mum to take responsibility. I started to let go but I can't. Yeeteng once told me that she really really really wanted to attend the class. It was just that her mother did not allow her. Her mother said Yeeteng had a lot of tests. So I let it go and accept those few excuses. Then it became worse and worse. Even her father said no. He said she had to learn her spelling and stuffs like that. My mother also got fed up about it. 

Today, before CCA started, I received a call from Yeeteng's teacher of the one day class. She really very concern about Yeeteng's attendance. She said she also communicated with Yeeteng's mother about it. She said it was just that her mother thought it would be troublesome for us to bring her there and back again. So I promised that I will inform Yeeteng's mother that I am fine with it, nothing is troublesome.

When I got home, I talked to my mother about that. That talk made me want to type this blog post.

Why? Mum, why do you have to think it that way? 

Like what my co-form teacher said, he said that as people get older, we can't brainstorm on ideas because we have too many to consider. If we were to ask younger children, there would be a thousand suggestions from them.

It is because as older we grow, the more things become more complicated to us? Then I want to be a teen for all my life. I mean, this is how my mother thinks, she thinks that Yeeteng;s parents are very responsible because when there was one time when we chose to bring Yeeteng to that class, they took their son out. I am like totally disagreeing with my mum. I think just think in a positive way. Maybe they thought it was a good chance to take Yeechen out so that they can give him some attention with Yeeteng who also need the same amount attention. There are just so many possibilities to that. 

Why can't adults think positive? "No, because..." "How? You tell me? This... That... How?"

That is why we think positive! It is make us better and give us hope. But you keep going back to the same thing, the negative shit problems. We think positive, so that we don't keep thinking of those shit and tend to over-think. Over-thinking makes all this even worse. 

You all tell us that we should not be selfish, we must think for others? Oh. Then where is the example that I can look up to and follow? You tell us not be the things that are bad but yet many of you are like that. We must think of others? Then why do some of us be so direct or give very obvious and negative body language to show dislike or hate? You adults are doing that. Then we, kids, learn from you all and as the future is on its way, we show all this to our children. This goes on generations. I know I am thinking wild, but this is serious. 

Let me ask. Which baby was born into this world with a smirk on their face or knew how to be evil? The reasons why they become evil is because of the sight of adults or the older ones doing it. Has any child said, "I want a lot of money and rule the entire world with power" or "I want more land to build houses and buildings so I create forest fires to wipe out forests." ? These are what you adults are doing. 

Stop being a hypocrite. Or try denying. I can see that all happening in my eyes.

I remember a quote from KarateKid, "世界上没有坏学生，只有坏老师" which means that there is no such thing as bad students, only bad teachers exist. 

Who are the adults? The kids? 

It's the adults. 

Okay. I know there are also many good adults but I am sorry, innocent ones, the bad examples have blind me from all you good ones. 

All I want to say is, why can't we be as simple as the innocent kids in preschool?

Do things need to be that complicated? Must it be?

Why as soon as we grow older, we have more to think of?

That is all I am saying. 

No one will stop me, only until I see no more hope.

GetOuttaMahFace

It became another reason that E2 is awesome

Another dream, yes, I know, I know.
I have been blogging about dreams but I only blog the best of the best.
It is always about E2 because I think of them all day long, plus it's the holidays, I miss them.

It begin with me, I was like a interviewer. I was interviewing Donghae, who was in his mid 30s. He was still an actor who came to Singapore for filming purposes. He was with Siwon too. It would be great to be true.
Then after the interview was over, there were two camera mans taking photos of us.
"Sandy, when do you need the photos?"
That sounded familiar- SUPP HAQIM AND RYAN. Wow, they look for professional. I am seriously serious. They looked so formal. But Ryan still looked like a teddy bear.
"Before the end of the week. See ya. Thank you, Donghae and Siwon. It was a great time interviewing you guys." I slightly bowed. And in this dream, I knew where I was going. I came to an office. I saw Pearly, Keith and Xiuhan. We worked in the same company. We edit a monthly magazine like Teens and Teenage.
Then I was given invitations. I don't know what they were for but it was only for us.
Please give them out. It has been ten years. Let's gather as a class, 2E2. From, Nadhirah
Oh. That's awesome.
So I went on this mission, given by our class chairman (it sounds nicer than calling her monitress)
--
I opened the doors of a room. It was a dance room. We, me and the two boys, saw a tall guy. Yup. You know what it is, black and yellow black and yellow black and yellow, It was Ken. He was so focus that he did not notice people entered the room. He was teaching a group of younger people how to dance.
"Okay, guys. Great job, see you all tomorrow. We will practice segment two tomorrow. Bye," he waved to the youngsters. One by one, they left.
"Ken," Haqim called. Ken looked up and smiled, "Sup, guys. What brings you all here?"
Then I hand him an invitation, "It has been ten years. Please turn up." I smiled. He nodded his head before drinking a full bottle of water. The two boys sat with him. I sat in front of them.
"Hey, guys~~"
I know that voice.
That voice.
His voice.
Aish.
Suryono Gunawan Ali, there is no other voice like his.
"Here. Invitation to class gathering. Oh ya, where are the girls? They are in this building too, right?" I asked as I stood up. -Why was I in heels? I thought I hated them.- Ali pointed at another door at the end of the room, "Third room of the corridor, Jasmine's teaching kids how to cook and bake. It's.. Wednesday, they are ending soon. Go to the second room. Natalie, Nadhirah and Joy are video taping. It is okay if you interrupt, they are editing the video. If I am not wrong and she has not left, Kelly is at the end of the hall, she is filming-"
"Ali. You talk so much for what? Text her when she leaves, it's not like she is recording whatever you are saying. Joker sia you."
"Of course. I am Singaporeans' favourite comedian anyways. Okay lah. Get going, before Kelly goes home."
So I left. What was Kelly filming anyways?
--
I entered a room with kids at their tables in pairs. They were making cupcakes. Jasmine was at the front counter. I saw her, she saw me. She smiled and waved.
"Okay. Kids, be careful when you put them in. The oven is very hot," I saw a kid with difficulties putting the tray in. So I helped her, "Wait for ten minutes and it is done." Jasmine removed her flowery apron and chef hat. She walked to me, I walked to her.
"Hey. How was your interview with Donghae, huh?"
"Great. I am not sure if I have- Ah. Here you go, an invitation. Class gathering. Please turn up. Have a great time looking after the kids here. I shall not disturb. Bye." I left like that. I went to the second room. There were at least more than three computers in that room.
I saw Natalie who was just finished video taping, Nadhirah offing the camera and passing it to Joy who was editing the video.
"Hi, girls. Check this out," I pulled out a photo from my folder, a photo of me and Donghae. I really want that to happen though.. They spazzed like so much that they nearly forgot to ask why I was there.
"Oh ya, Sandy. Why are you here?"
"Invitations. I guess Nadhirah just gave me everyone's and forgot to take all of yours and hers. Haha. Here," I gave the three invitations to them, "By any chance, is our entire class in this gigantic building? Where ah?"
"Err.. I only know Kelly is filming here, at the end of the corridor. Two levels up, the library, Bernadette is at her shift today. Sri Ram too.. And Sharon is at the kitchen at the basement. That's all I know. Ah. And also Vy and Kimberly just came back from Japanese. They are at the top level. If I remember more, I will text you." Joy turned back to the computer and continue editing. They returned my photos. After saying bye, I left and went on to search for the rest. I was not allowing to enter the room at the end of the corridor. So I told one of the helpers to give a note to Kelly, telling to stay behind after the filming for a while.
I went up. When I was at the second floor of the building, I heard shoutings from the wushu class. It was a huge room, about the size of our school hall. I saw another classmate, Zion. So I guessed he made his cca his career.
"Okay, guys. Practice on your own. If it is done well, I will let you all off before eight." He wiped his sweat away. While his disciplines were practicing, I went to him.
"Zion?"
"Eh, Sandy? Oh, hi. What brings you here at this time?"
I pulled out an invitation and handled it to him, "Class gathering. Please turn up. I need to go now. Bye." I left. I went another floor up, the library. I entered. It was so quiet. I saw Berny at the counter.
"Berny?" I whispered. She looked at me, "Sandy? Yes?"
She was actually on her laptop, reading blogs. "Who's that?"
"Vy and Kim. They just came back from Japan. They are upstairs, resting."
I gave an 'ohh' face. I passed her three invitations, "Class gathering for the three of you. And by any chance, anyone from our class are here?"
She was thinking for a while, "Sri Ram are packing some books. At the end of the library, there are three rooms, ShinYeong is teaching Korean, Atika teaching Malay. Jovan and Noorulien are at the other end of this level. Noorulien is resting, she was before my shift. Jovan is at the PA room, checking on the powers and the cameras around the building. Sharon and ChunYi are-"
"At the kitchen? Okay. Wait, Akash?" I turned back.
"Oh, he should be back. He has been sending mails."
"Thanks. Bye." I waved.. This sending invitations is seriously tiring.
--
I was done with sending invitations to ShinYeong, Sri Ram and Atika. They were great, especially Atika and Shin Yeong. They were like teachers. They were teachers. It amazed me a lot.
I left the library, I was heading to the other end. What building was this anyway? Why is our E2 here?
I saw Noorulien walking out of her room.
"Noorulien? Hey~" I called as I ran. She wanted to greet me but I cut her off my accident. Sorry. "Invitations for class gatherings. Please turn up and pass this to Jovan and Akash. Bye. I got to send more invitations, bye~ See you~" I waved and ran downstairs. I chose to find Sharon. The kitchen was filled with cakes and pastries on display. It was like a cafe. It was filled with many customers. That was when I saw ChunYi at the counter.
I went in to the cashier to help for a while. There was so many customers.
"Finally. Thanks, Sandy." She said it in chinese, I just translate it to English.
"It's nothing. Here's your invitation to our class gathering. Is Sharon in the kitchen?"
ChunYi nodded, "Yup, baking."
I went off to the kitchen. She was so focus that I thought I shouldn't interrupt her.
"Just come in, Sandy. I am done soon."
"Sure sure." I sat on the chair which was opposite her. I watched her knead the dough. She left it to rise at a side. She washed her hands thoroughly and dried them. She removed her apron and chef hat.
"What's up, Sandy?" She sat down. I smiled, "Nothing much. I just had an interview with Donghae and Siwon this afternoon. I thought I could rest but I had invitations to give out. Here, it's our class gathering. Remember to turn up. You should rest, you look tired. I shall go now, bye~"
She smiled and waved. I climbed up the stairs. I got in front of the room which Kelly was in. I wanted to knock until Ali stopped me.
"She just went to another room, there." He pointed. He took me there.
"Ali, what's this place?"
"My building, where dreams come true, haha. Its our class'. It became successful. All thanks to everyone including you. You wrote an article on us on last month's issue. Many people came then. Thanks. Ah, we are here. I need to go also. See ya at the class gathering."
I nodded. I entered the room. I saw Jovan-SAILOR-Mok. He was going to leave. He waved, "I got the invitation already. Bye." He was so polite. Since when? Well, that's good. He's got manners, I knew that. I saw Kelly wearing a dress, glittery gold. She had her hair down. She was wearing two rings on her left hand and three bangles on her right. She was in heels, pink. She was still filming. It was the final one before it ends, according to one of the staff. She looked so amazing and stunning. Imagine how many fanboys she would be gaining?
Wow.
Wow, fantastic baby DANCE WOOHOOO
Back to where I was, Kelly was lipsyncing her song. Was it an MV she is filming or something?
"Thank you. Thanks for the hardwork! Thank you." The recording ended. All the staff clapped hands. I did too. Kelly's awesome kay. 
She saw me. Her eyes glowed, her mouth went open.
"SANDDDDYYYYY!" She ran to me and hugged me, "I missed you siaa~~" She laughed. I laughed too.
"You looked amazing. And stunning too. Ah, your invitation for the class gathering," the final invitation, yes, I am done with the sending, "It has been ten years."
She nodded, "Yup. It has been ten years. And we are still together. Oh ya, how was Donghae~~ And Siwon~~ They was still handsome to you, right? Haha."
"It was great. I got a photo with them. Let's grab a drink at Sharon's cafe. I have lots to tell you."
---
"YUMSENGGGGGGGGGG" We cheered and drank wine. It was our class gathering. We all sat at a table. we were laughing and talking about old times. We talked about Mr Wong, how smirkish he was, Mdm Lee, how annoying but motherly to us. We had a lot to talk.

"Girls, wake up."
WALAO. JIE WHY NOW.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Conclusion:

• We all were still in contact after leaving BHSS
• Ken was a dance teacher
• Ali was a famous kido who is a comedian in Singapore
• Joy, Nadhirah and Natalie were youtubers who make videos and post them up regularly
• No one was a nobody, we all had our jobs and careers
• Kelly was a soloist 
• This building which Ali was in charge was as big as an ITE (I saw an ITE nearby my house ^^ It's nice)
•  2E2 has contributed in our ways to make it into a business ^^

That was it. Amazing. I nearly cried, so proud of E2.
Love you all ^^

When the world says you can't, I tell you that you can

Every step as its own risk, just choose the best you can

None of us are perfect, that keeps us real

Yesterday's the past, Tomorrow's a mystery and Today's a gift.

That's why it's called the present  

Life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing; you'll find your way if you keep believing.

If we make today a beautiful one, tomorrow will be another beautiful one

I know nothing lasts forever but let's make this everlasting present a great memory, okay?

Thank you 2E2. Forever in my heart. Thank you.

Okthxbye

Horrible feelings

What is this?
A Sunday.
Which are meant to be?
Happy.
Yup. But that was proved wrong today. Many people pissed me off literally.

Firstly, my eldest sister. This morning, she went to play badminton with my 9-years-known friend. We were going to meet downstairs at nine o'clock for breakfast. We went down and saw them walking towards the block. My second sister, Muimui, wanted to follow them up to put their bags.
But, my eldest sister literally put a 'NO' in her face. Woh. Great example to follow.
Okay, so if I say no in your face and with that tone, do not blame me.
I know Muimui pisses me off at times but she has brought happiness to my life too. We always hang out together. She is Muimui. I love her, kay?

Next. My 9-years-known friend. Let's call her GWYT. It is quite obvious who she is if you know me well enough. I have been totally pissed off with her since long ago. Today, she did piss me off without fail.
When we sat at the table at Whampoa market, I asked Muimui if she got order food for us. She stood up. Before she left, she asked, "Si wan laksa ah?" Which means 'four bowls of laksa?'
"No. Bu yi ding ah. Wo men liang ge bu yi ding laksa ah." GWYT meant 'No. Doesn't mean we always buy laksa mean today we also buy laksa.'
Walao eh. That instant, I felt like slapping her mouth. Her attitude. That tone. Why I am so pissed? Last time, when Muimui was talking to her, she gave faces. Wow, that was so mature of you. Should I be proud? No.
Back to this, it is just about two bowls of laksa. What is wrong with you?
I mean, seriously?
Just for two bowls of laksa that my sister did not even order, you had to give an idiotic attitude and disrespectful tone?
I know Muimui is from a T-class, so? She has a heart to care and love. I know Muimui had school in a different environment, so? She is not a bad person. If you look down at T-students, just say. You sounded that way. I am not going to assume. I am very pissed. Very. I am really pissed. After nine years, I have never been so pissed. You can give that attitude to idiotic people or assholes but we are friends, okay? Though we have been friends, God did not say I must handle all this bullshit from you. I don't care if you read this and get angry. You have no right to be. If you don't want posts about you here, too bad. It's my blog. And I should be the one being angry. You did all this to us, the friends which you grew up together with. If we knew each other for so long, aren't we suppose to respect each other more?
If this is the type of respect I get, oh, you are such a great friend. How respectful of you.

But I have learnt a lot from you. I learnt not to be like you.
Not to vent feelings.
Not to be a hypocrite.
Not to be so exaggerating.
Not to be like you.
At least I don't change in that way

If you are reading this, I won't care if you hate me or what. I am really pissed today.

GetOuttaMahFace