The A Guy

If you have read from one of my previous posts, you might know.

The A Guy is Aiden

 

 

 

( he is so cute I cannot)

But

That's just not true.

/do I sound like Hazel Grace?/

The A Guy is really what I call my crush

/gasp/

YES

I really have a real crush

YES

I finally have true feels for a male that is really in my life

You wanna know more?

Ermm

He is Asian (omg I am so racist but I ain't lying)

He is Affectionately in love with another girl

(it is alright, I am fine)

He is an Acute angle (okay I am joking)

He is one of my greatest Afflictions in life

He is Amazing

He is Amiable

And he shall remain Anonymous

Let's end this with the A Guy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

/he is the another A guy if you have forgotten/

OH YEAH

btw

I have another A guy to introduce

 

TADAA

 Ansel Elgort

/Tfios was so good and I cried so hard/

Good things that came out of overthinking

I thought about so many things today.
Because I am just a lonely person and blablabla. But many people made my day today. Two boys whom I know for 4 years, they are actually real sweet people and even though people hate talking to them or find their 'existence' annoying, I actually do not think the same.
For me, it doesn't matter if you are literally cross-eyed, have autism or learning difficulties. True for me to say, people with disabilities like that are actually people I really love talking to. They are just such nice people, a heart of gold and people who I feel make more sense than normal people.
People with autism, dyslexia, physical disabilities are the people I respect the most. Others often say that 'you don't know my story, so don't judge me' and they are the people who BULLY others, tease others. You have a 'dramatic' love story, that is why you throw your tantrum, then how about the kid who thinks that he/she is a burden to the people around thenselves? You got tripped over someone's shoe and you curse so loudly, then how about the people who doesn't have a pair of legs? Don't you see that we often not satisfied enough?
Some insensitive people will say 'so what if the african kids can't eat?'.
Then excuse you, it means that you are a lucky asshole who can have three meals, snacks, bubble tea to eat and crap to shit. So stop thinking that it isn't your business.
Why am I making a deal out of it?
Everyone is always teasing the other who have less.
Stop.
It breaks my heart.
You want to say that you are a 'kind' person, act like one. It is disgusting when you bully people after saying that. You are no one to put someone in their place. They have a disabilities, a given challenge that they cannot choose. And they embrace it and move on. They learn everything differently because they cannot do the same like everyone else.
And there you are, complaining whenever there are the slightest changes and demanding something you want.
Do you wanna think tha they feel good having a disabilitiy?
I do not have a disability but I feel a burden to my mother whenever I tell her my problems.
Them? People have to be there, do you think that they feel extremely good? No, because I wished that I knew what to do with my stress by my own. They also wished that they could do everything on their own.
And only your bullying makes it worse.
You want to make someone feel like shit? That person might be insulted by their own parents too. You want to stare in disgust of the person who looks pale and have cuts on their wrists? That might be one who is facing a abusive boyfriend/girlfriend who suck the guts out of her/his health. That person might be someone have financial problems and having family-relationship problems.
You maybe like "come on no one in singapore is like that". If you are right, why aren't we all rich, smart and happy at the same time?
That is why I try to reach out to those silent ones in class, in my cca. I know that not everyone lives with positivity, I just wish that a greeting or a concern would make their day.

Luck

I love him.
He loves her.
And she loves him.
Some people are just lucky.
Some are just... just not as fortunate enough.
And I am one of the unfortunate.
People live the happily-ever-after,
I just watch.
Because he loves her, and she loves him.
I love him but I can't.
I watch silently, behind walls. I fake a smile and pretend that I give a blessing. Deep inside was no longer a strong girl.
It was a weakling.
In tears, in pain.
Maybe faking it would be easier.
So that no one would pity me.
So I sit alone as I watch.
She pushes him and he pushes her back. Her giggles were nothing, but I just wish that i was the one giggling. When I see a smile on his face, I just forget. I forget that he is in love with her. Whatever else didn't matter at all.
Because that smile.
That smile puts another on my face.
Sometimes I laugh to myself.
This is funny.
Why do I even carry a hope that doesn't exist?
He doesn't even look at me, he doesn't even think of me. All in his mind might probably be her.
Just like me, he puts her in front of everything. And he was.. another lucky guy who wins whatever he wants.
She was a nice lady.
Totally harmless.
So I don't hold a urge against her. Because she was just like me, crazy in love. And just like me, she puts him in front of everything. She was another lucky young lady, living the dream of a perfect love life.
They were having the perfect happy ending.
I?
I am like the old man that sits alone in the park. All that he had was the breeze blowing in his face and the burden of the world that seems to ignore him.
I have nothing.
Not even a nice and understanding guy friend.
And yes, I want a guy friend.
Everyone around me has one.
They are lucky people.
I wasn't, I am not even close to be like them.
I just wish that someday, someobe would tell me that I am looking good, or tell me that it is great to see me around. I just wish that some guy cared. Just say goodbye or take care.
But unlike them, I am just an unfortunate person.
So I shut the doors around me and seal the windows. I built a tall wall around me.
So no one sees me.
Because my heart is as unfortunate as me, it always breaks and now, full of scars.
I just hope.
A hope that someday, a guy sees that brick wall. I wish he tries to break it or climbs over it. I pray that some guy would take care of me and my precious heart. I hope that he would put the world down and pick my mind, put it at ease, tell it that it is okay to look ugly or look unattractive.
Because he would be there always, and say that I am beautiful in my way.
And that guy, if you are anywhere, I pray that you live safely and I hope that you come quickly.
So that I know that the hope I have exists.
It exists for you.

She bitch slapped her boyfriend

You may wonder who it is.
Well if you have watched the youtube video of this hongkong girl slapping her boyfriend 14 times of the face WHILE GRABBING HIS HAIR. And yes, FOURTEEN TIMES.
I am not joking.
There is a video on it.
Those who haven't watch it, the behind story is....
Okay i am not like SUPER SUPER SUPER sure but this girlfriend found her boyfriend cheating (but he didnt). The boyfriend was not. Well. She thought he was because another gurl (some cousin friend of the girlfriend) called another girl to their apartment. I think it is something like that...
AIYAH
JUST GO WATCH AND SEE THE COMMENTS AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND.
Anyway, this boyfriend was kneeling now and the gurlfriend was like" dim gai" something something in cantonese. She was telling the world that she was scolding her boyfriend. And there was the cousin-friend beside her and guess what she did?
NOTHING
I mean, seriously?
You know the truth and you just watch. AND WATCH THE BOY GET HIT 14 TIMES
OH MY GOD
ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN
So there is also another story about some girl and nuggets that is why there is that macdonald bag beside him. Like I said, watch the video and read comments.
The guy was asking this cousin-friend gurl to tell the truth, explain that he was no cheating.
She was like "he asks me to explain. I shall stand here and not"
My god
Oh why
Why do you exist.
Congrats, you cause a problem between the couple, let the poor guy kena slap and let the other girl slap him. You so great. You make them go court. YOU IS THE 伟大, 你知道吗?
You is the pro.
You is the 厉害
I salute.
And the girlfriend hor, i wanna slap you also. Oi, man got pride want leh. Wanna scold, don't make him kneel lah. You two got apartment what, go there then slap lah. You think what, hongkong street nice venue ah? Please lah, we don't need to WATCH YOUR DRAMA. Go home record then broadcast live on tv. But even if you do so, no one watch.
I love it that some ladies and aunties helped. I love you nice hongkong woman and aunties. And you, boyfriend, yes you. Stand up lah, SLAP HER BACK AND SAY "PUCK YOU, LEMME EXPLAIN AND STOP SLAPPING ME LIKE A BITCH, YOU BITCH"
Don't afraid of her lose face
She make you lose face you give her karma lahhh
You go tell the court you dw settle case.
Say just let you slap her 14 times then you two break. Apartment is yours because you injured mah, you need rest. The girlfriend leh? She no need lah, she got that cousin-friend support mah. So this part, don't worry. Court confirm take it reasonable one. Or nvm lah, you sue her. She go jail then you have the apartment lah. See, settle liao.

My words to girls and guys out there:
Don't cheat
Don't bitch slap your partner like that
Don't be an attention seeker
Don't settle your relationships out here
Don't keep quiet (STAND UP FOR LIFEEE STAND UP FOR LOVEEEEEEEE WHOOOOOOO OO OOO)
ACT FAST AND BITCHSLAP THE OTHER IN THE FACE IF HE OR SHE DOES IT
If you had a macdonald 打包 beside you, throw at the woman/guys face then RUN

And that are your tips to relationship and trying to get away from slapping sessions.
You welcome.

Respect

If you read the school creed every morning, go by it. If you can't, I rather you just put your right hand up and leave it there and lip the words. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
I hate those people who bully others. Oh, it isn't my friends who get bullied. And plus, bullying doesn't end at childhood or teenage years. Tell that to an old granny who lives in fear of teenagers picking on.her old and ragged clothes, and her limping leg. Tell that to a mother who gets constantly commented by her own children of her way of parenting, clothes and personality. Tell that to a wife who are questioned for the causes of bruises by others when at home, they have no idea of how abusive her husband actially is. You all have no idea how effective your words can be or how demoralizing your words are to those who are weakened and all they need is someone like you to say things like that. Then they push themselves to an end, to jumping off the building or to self harm. You have no idea what one person is going through. Well, if you are the one going home everyday to an abusive dad or parent, if you are the one who goes to a hospital everyday to see a dying love one fighting cancer in a weak state, would you think harmful and scarring words are needed? Would you need more hate and more pain living in this world?
Let me tell you how disgusted I am when I see you all disturbing and bullying the autism kid verbally. Do you think it is fun? If it is, let me tell you that because you are having 'fun', people can commit suicide, self harm or do stupid things. It is because life, to them, isn't worthy anymore. And it is because of people like you. And let me say it again, it is because of YOU, people hate their lives.
I am disgusted because you are an indirect killer, inconsiderate and horrible assholes who make everything worse for people!
I can make fun of you too! It is easy to pick it on you! I can make fun of your music, your clothes, your everything!
But I rather not, because I know how ruined I was when I was bullied.
So I forgive all of them and live on, to reach out to those who are or have gone through the same thing.
Let me tell you how disrespectful you were when you spoke against the chinese teacher. You all always say, "I give respect to those who respect me, age doesn't matter." But you can't even give, how can you even receive the same way?
Respect everyone around you. They might have been a victim of rape, abuse or physical bully. They might have been a survival of war or a woman who has fought custody of her children so that they won't get abused by her husband again. Everyone has been through something. Life isn't easy for anyone.
You want respect from others, learn to respect others first.
You all better change your bullying ways because it breaks my heart that one day, you all might be gulity for bullying someone and they commit suicide because of you.
Love more, care more,